Ultrasound #3

My regular hospital had nothing available that week for an ultrasound, so I ended up going to a perinatal department in a different hospital. I went alone, because I didn't really think anything was going to be wrong, I guess because I didn't really know the possible reasons for a high AFP.

The ultrasound tech told me she would do the full anatomy scan if she could. This is the full ultrasound most couples go to at 20 weeks, to find out the sex, and make sure everything is okay. We already had that anatomy ultrasound all scheduled for June 29, even though we already knew the sex. I felt like it was a necessary milestone, so Matt and I were going to go to that together. 

I was a little earlier than usual for a full anatomy scan, so she did what she could. That ultrasound took a really long time. She finished up, and then told me she was going to send the doctor in to talk about the results. I thought this was normal procedure, maybe it is, I don't know. 

I remember not being crazy about this doctor. She wasn't very warm or friendly. I honestly can't remember everything she told me that day, but she mentioned that there were some concerns. Knowing what I know now, I can link it all together. She was concerned about the shape of the skull, some extra space int he skull not being taken up by the brain, and some spots on the spine. She also had concerns about the heart, but it was too soon to really get a good look at the heart. She recommended a second in depth ultrasound, as well as a fetal echocardiogram, and possibly a fetal MRI. She had the receptionist schedule those for me, while I just stood there blank. The doctor told me that she would write all this down for me, so I could talk it over with Matt, but I guess we both forgot. 

Once again, she gave me the option of termination. She explained that there could possibly be mental disabilities, physical disabilities, and heart issues.

The funny thing was, I told her that my OB recommended I get an amnio, depending on how the ultrasound looked. This doctor really steered me away from the amnio. she told me the risks, and how she hated how genetic counselors explain the risks. She definitely talked me out of it. 

I left the hospital that day, not 100% sure what it all meant, but that my baby girl had possible brain, spine, and heart defects. My heart broke even more. I walked to my car and cried.