Amniocentesis

Oh man this sucked.

Its funny how many awful painful things you have to go through as a pregnant lady. Blood tests, exams, aches and pains. But you do it all happily because you're pregnant! You get this great reward at the end of it all. You see all those awful tests through the rosy glow, and do them happily with a smile.

But when you're getting tests done because there's a problem, everything seems so different. I began to feel like there was something scary lurking around every corner. I dreaded the doppler because I was afraid there wasn't going to be a heartbeat. I hated getting my blood pressure taken because I expected it to be high. Every test had a potential for disaster. And here I was, going for the mother of all pregnancy tests, high risk and painful and all that good stuff.

I was scared. I was so happy to have Matt there with me. I was going to yet another new hospital, with a new doctor. I knew Matt was really hoping this doctor would look at the ultrasound and disagree with all the previous findings. After all, everyone else was just going off of the notes form the one doctor, they didn't see any actual ultrasound images to agree with her.

He began the ultrasound and started taking a look around. Matt asked him if he saw the same warning signs that the previous doctor did. He said that he could see why there was a reason for concern. Seeing Matt so upset by that was so hard. I thought back to our first ultrasound, how happy and amazed we were, how our little baby seemed to be waving to us! It was all so real and full of possibilities.

Now it just seemed like things were getting worse by the day.

The amniocentesis was not easy at all. Sure, it's a giant needle going into my abdomen and drawing out fluid. It was painful. It also felt a lot longer than the quick draw I thought it would be. They gathered 3 vials of fluid. I focused on a ceiling tile and held back tears, squeezing Matt's hand.